Where did Bing come from?
Legend has it that he was created when a supernova gave birth to the Non-Denominational Holiday Star, and the dust from this explosion stayed together and landed on Earth in the form of a manchild… Bing Faithful.
Another rumor has it that his spirit was forged by elves in the hearth of Santa’s workshop for adults toys…
And some have even whispered that he sprang to life out of a snow bank, the first moment two people did that little “something so wrong that felt so right”…
What is known is that, many years ago on a frigid December night, when the first Non-Denominational Holiday Star was at its fullest and brightest, a manchild walked out of a forest of holiday trees wearing nothing… nothing but a red jacket, white shirt, bow tie, black pants, black socks and shoes, a Santa’s hat, and Christmas Hot Pants – he was also holding a martini glass filled with a perfect Hand-Squeezed Dirty Martini – and the gift of the holiday crooner was given back to the world!
