LANGOUSTINE

By January 19, 2017characters

I am a motivational speaker.  Let me ask you something.  How long does it take to be magnificent?  Two and a half years. To answer your question: Two and a half years.  That’s how long I’ve been growing my fingernails:  two and a half years and I am a motivational speaker. My goal is to be in the Guinness Book of World Records.

What does it take to become great?  What does it take to be magnificent? – It takes Tenacity, Hard Work, Focus, Fortitude, Stick-To-Itiveness… Sacrifice!

And acronym I call THWFFSTIS

Tenacity – Hard Work:  I’m a finger nail biter!  Every day I want to bite my nails!  Every day.   But I stay….
Focused:  I want to be magnificent – the best – I want to be in “The Book.”
Fortitude:  To stand alone.  My wife left me two and a half years ago.  I chose to do this – to be great – she left me.
Stick-To-Itiveness:  I’ve been alone for two and a half years.  No woman wants her genitals to be touched with these fingernails.  With these fingernails I cannot even touch my own genitals!  I have to have somebody come in to help me – do simple things – touch my genitals, go to the bath room, to bath me, to feed me – Cook for Me!  Really, do you think I can be around fire?  I cannot be around an oven – I cannot flip a pancake.  I cannot drive a car.  I cannot make my bed.  I cannot work out.  I cannot go to a gym.  Imagine me on an elliptical machine. I have canker sores in my armpits!
Sacrifice:  It takes Sacrifice to be magnificent, and these are the sacrifices I make.  This is what I do to be magnificent.

Look for my new book “Magnificent!” to be on line in 2013.

You will not get a signed autographic copy of the book because I can’t hold a pen…  because of my fingernails.